


Life As A Soldier

by Esteliel



Series: Obedience and Devotion [1]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings Online
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Backstory, First Time, LOTRO, M/M, MMORPG, Military, Mirkwood, Non-Consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 16:27:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esteliel/pseuds/Esteliel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Eluivor joins the service of his King Thranduil, he has the honour of joining the patrol of Captain Helegon, a widely respected warrior. But Eluivor did not quite expect the sort of service his captain demands...</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Helegon smiled. His hand still rested on Eluivor's arm, who felt warm all over from pleasure and pride – until Helegon's hand moved again, dropping straight to his lap.</em><br/><em>Eluivor froze with uncertainty.</em><br/><em>"Come now, boy," Helegon said, his voice low. "It is late, and we are both tired. You can go find your bedroll in a moment."</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Life As A Soldier

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, I couldn't resist when pondering the captain Eluivor mentioned in Valuable Lessons. Any chance to make a character I love miserable, especially when he suffers so well. Another AU that never happened in RP canon.

He watched Helegon with avid, bright eyes from his place by the wall. The captain was seated at the desk that stood in a corner of the _talan_ , painstakingly transcribing reports on the last week's patrols and requests for more supplies. He was broad-shouldered and tall, but faster than any other in the trees or with his knives. Eluivor had seen him gut a group of spiders with as much ease as if he were performing a dance.

Helegon was well on his way to become a legend in the Greenwood. Only the king’s son drew faster and shot truer, but Legolas was needed at court. There had been no way his father could have secured a position with Legolas for him – but instead, to serve as the latest recruit among Helegon's men was an honour almost as great as the prince's attention would have been. And Helegon was well-loved by his men. He demanded obedience and devotion, but also lost fewer men in battle than any other captain of Thranduil's guards could boast off.

No, to serve beneath Helegon was a great honour for any youth who had only just entered the service of the king, and even though Eluivor knew that in part, it was his father's name that had made Helegon take him on, he also knew that his captain approved of his abilities with sword and bow.

Diligently, he worked on cleaning the blade balanced across his knees, glancing up every now and then to watch his captain fill sheaf after sheaf of paper. Eluivor could have spent what remained of the evening with the men at the fire, down on the forest ground, sharing some wine and allowing the glow of their encouragement and praise to fill him. But when his captain had asked for a volunteer to help clean some of his equipment while he worked on reports and planned future patrols, how could he have said no? He did not mind the work. It was a mark of his captain's favour to be allowed to handle his weapons, and an honour to spend the evening in Helegon's company, even though his captain was busy.

But there would always be more evenings by the fire with the other men, and so little opportunity to have his captain's undivided attention, to prove himself as loyal and hard-working as any of his seasoned warriors.

When Helegon closed a ledger at last with an audible sigh, Eluivor looked up attentively and smiled. “I am finished with your weapons and armour, sir,” he said respectfully. Helegon nodded and came closer, reaching down to pick up one of his long blades.

“Good work,” he said after he had turned it between his fingers, and Eluivor felt the warm glow of pride fill him as he sat up straight. “The men like you too – you fit in well. Everyone thinks so.”

Eluivor's smile widened when Helegon clasped his shoulder. So long he had dreamed of the day when he would finally be allowed to take up a sword in service to his king – but the reality was better than anything he could have imagined. Helegon's men were seasoned warriors who knew the forest and the enemy they were facing only too well, and while Eluivor had been forced to bear a few rough jokes about his noble heritage and the curly golden hair he tried to tame anew every day with ever-tighter braids, they had eagerly accepted him into their midst once they had seen that he was quick to learn and eager to carry out every duty he was given without complaint.

Helegon's hand halted him when he tried to stand. “Stay a while. It's the first evening back after your first few days out with us. I know it is rough, at first."

Eluivor shook his head in protest, still smiling brightly. Truly, this was better than his lessons at home. Maybe walking all day and sleeping on the ground were rough, but the camaraderie and encouragement and the words of praise he earned now and then made it seem like the sweetest days he could remember. No one compared him to his brother. Out here, it seemed as if people saw him for who he was, and who he would become, not for who he failed to be. If he did well, his captain was pleased and told him so, instead of telling him to try even harder. And Helegon was a man whose words had influence even with the king. If Helegon thought him promising, hard-working and gifted with sword and bow, Eluivor knew that his father would accept the captain's assessment of him. This year he would serve beneath Helegon would be the foundation for his career in service to the Greenwood – and right now, it seemed that the year would be easier and happier than anything he had dared to dream of.

"Have some wine with me, Eluivor. I like to get to know my recruits, and out on patrol there is so little time to talk."

Helegon sat down next to him, producing a bottle and two goblets from a nearby cupboard, then poured for both of them.

"Welcome again to my troop. I'm glad I chose well in you. In my experience, someone who manages to befriend my men during the first few days will do well under my command."

Eluivor sipped his wine when Helegon did so, too flattered and filled with giddy happiness to even appreciate the taste. "It is an honour to serve with you, Captain," he said. "And it is an honour to serve with your men. You are famous throughout the Greenwood. You have given me the chance to learn from the best warriors of the forest. I'll strive to never disappoint you, I appreciate the trust you've shown me."

Helegon smiled a little and emptied what wine remained in his goblet, then poured them more after Eluivor had hastily followed his example.

"I know you won't disappoint me." He reached out again to clap Eluivor's shoulder, then slid his hand slowly down his arm to feel his muscles. "In a year's time, our prince will probably steal you from me, and though I will pretend to be upset for losing another good man to him, I'll be proud of you, as I was proud of every other man who swiftly rose through the ranks after serving with me."

Eluivor felt heat colour his cheeks – as much from the wine as his captain's words.

"You are loyal and hard-working," Helegon continued, "and what I appreciate most of all is that you obey orders swift and without question. During battle, that can mean the difference between life and death – not only for you, but for all of us."

Eluivor nodded eagerly. "I would never question your wisdom or your experience, Captain."

Helegon gave him a look of approval. "Good. If I seem strict at times, it is only because I want my men to live. Life out here near the borders is different to life at the king's court. There is little time for leisure, and much danger and hard work. It will seem strange and rough to you at first, but in time you will come to understand that there is a reason for everything, and that a hard life breeds harder men. You must be ready at all times to risk your own life to save that of another. More than that, you must trust me, always, no matter what I ask. Can you do that for me, Eluivor?"

Eluivor nodded breathlessly, eyes wide with youthful admiration. "Of course, sir! You are my captain, I shall follow every order! I know that you know best. Everyone knows that. And I trust you. I swear I do! There is no other man I would rather have followed!"

Helegon smiled. His hand still rested on Eluivor's arm, who felt warm all over from pleasure and pride – until Helegon's hand moved again, dropping straight to his lap.

Eluivor froze with uncertainty.

"Come now, boy," Helegon said, his voice low. "It is late, and we are both tired. You can go find your bedroll in a moment."

Eluivor could not move when Helegon's fingers deftly untied the lacing. His heartbeat echoed loud and heavy in his ears, speeding up as he simply sat there and waited, confused and suddenly afraid.

"You promised that you trust me. That you would always obey your Captain." Helegon gently pushed Eluivor forward, pulling down his breeches as he did so. "Come, it will be over quickly, and then we can both sleep."

Eluivor stared at the rough planks beneath his hands in confusion, listening to the sound of his breathing. He had promised to obey his captain. Helegon was a great man, a great warrior, one of the best who served the king... He could not disappoint him. At the same time, he suddenly felt sick, a strange fear twisting in his stomach, as if his blood had suddenly turned to ice. Even if he had dared to move against the orders of his captain, he felt frozen – helpless and afraid as all he could do was wait.

Helegon's hand briefly buried itself in his curls. "Such lovely hair," he murmured. "Just be quiet now."

Eluivor flinched as he felt a finger press against him. A soft gasp of pain escaped him as he was penetrated, but he concentrated on the pain of the splinters driven into his fingers as he clawed at the wooden planks, keeping silent as he had been told. It seemed so wrong – all of it seemed so wrong. It had not been supposed to happen like this. Helegon had praised him, Helegon had been so generous – he had been supposed to send Eluivor down to spend the rest of the evening with the men before it was time to sleep. After your captain shared some wine with you, he didn't just...

Eluivor's thoughts faltered, and he gasped again when another finger joined the first. He tried not to show the pain – he couldn't cry. What would Helegon think to see him cry? Then Helegon shifted back for a moment, pulling out, and Eluivor almost cried in relief that the pressure was gone. He couldn't think. He couldn't act. His thoughts were little fragments. _You have to obey your captain. Don't cry._ It was not really happening. It could not be happening. _He said their customs are different, out here – he is my captain, I owe him so much, I owe him my trust..._

When Helegon moved back against him, he could not breathe for a moment, desperately trying to find meaning in what he was feeling. Helegon was hard, hot skin sliding against him in a way that was so wrong. There was nothing, no word, no explanation, just Helegon's hand in his hair once more, tightening around a fistful of his curls as he pushed in, and Eluivor sobbed breathlessly at how much it hurt.

Helegon's thrusts were fast and impatient. Eluivor stared at the pattern of the wood beneath him, eyes blind with tears. He had not known that anything could hurt this much – why would his captain do this to him – why had he–

And then, there was a sudden heat, and he gasped, breathless and shocked and ashamed when Helegon continued to move and hurt him and make him feel so unbearably good.

His arms refused to carry his weight, and he dropped his chest to the floor, breathing heavily against the rough wood as he tried to hold back shameful sounds of need. He did not even know what was happening, how it had happened – it hurt, and he hadn't wanted it, it wasn't supposed to be like this, but now...

He trembled, his entire body shuddering as he found a sudden release. It was too much, too unexpected, and a moan of wretched pleasure broke free. Helegon pulled his head back by his hair in warning, but Eluivor was too exhausted to do anything but lie dazed on the floor, broken and overcome as he felt his captain still use him roughly, until he finally finished with a groan that made Eluivor flinch.

For a long moment, he just listened to the sound of his fast, terrified heartbeat as he was trying to make sense of what he was feeling. The cold wetness of his seed against his stomach. The ache as Helegon pulled out of him. The pinpricks of pain where splinters had been driven into his fingers that now throbbed with his heartbeat.

Was it over now, he wondered, confused and terrified. Was it always like this?

“Are you crying? Save those tears for when an orc blade cuts you.” Helegon had already pulled up his breeches again, looking calm and composed as he looked down at him, so that Eluivor felt a sting of shame at how he must look. He hastily rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand.

“I'm not crying, sir,” he said as he sat up, ignoring the ache that still throbbed inside him.

Helegon gave him a little smile and reached out to ruffle his hair affectionately, as if nothing had ever happened. “Good. You are coming along well. I've sent back a report about what good progress you are making, I am sure your father will be pleased. And I was thinking of taking you along on a small scouting trip tomorrow. You are swift and silent. There is a small pool a few leagues to the south where the filth from Barad Guldur comes again and again. The game that comes to drink attracts them, no matter how many of them we kill. You might make your first kill on the morrow, Eluivor. I know your father will be proud if you send back an arrow drenched in the lifeblood of one of the filthy creatures.”

Eluivor smiled with shocked surprise. Even his brother had not been able to boast of a kill less than a week into his first posting! It was almost enough to make him forget his shame, and the sudden, new dread of spending a day all alone with his captain.

No, it would be an honour to spend a day alone with his captain, he told himself. Hours ago he had dreamed of just such a thing. Only he hadn't known that...

He swallowed, still smiling when Helegon's fingers left his hair. He was no child anymore. His father had warned him that life as a soldier would be rough sometimes. He had warned him not to use his noble name as an excuse to demand preferential treatment. And he wouldn't. He'd serve like any other soldier, he'd never give his captain reason to doubt his loyalty or his courage.

“Thank you, sir. It would be a great honour,” he said softly, and then moved to shakily pull up his clothes while Helegon stepped towards the desk once more to look through his letters, as if nothing unusual had happened.

And nothing unusual had happened after all, Eluivor told himself. His captain was proud of him. And so would his father be.

Furtively, he wiped at the last of the tears before he slowly descended from the _talan_.


End file.
